Do I get extra credit for two double-dactylic words?

Lexical vexical
Wanton Logomachy
(reckless misuse of a
word or a phrase)

Hypergrammatical
overperfectionists
rarely admit their
erroneous ways.


more double dactyls:
Ivan T. Sanderson
Goldilocks
Tom Swifty
Sad Scruffleupagus

Down with prescriptivism

I love very many things about this blog post. First of all, I got very nostalgic about the post title, because remember when I made a hilarious joke about Vietnamese soup and logic? Yeah me too. Those were the good old days, when all my post titles were Tom Swifties* and the posts themselves came oftener than trimonthly.

Anyway, in Kory's post are a number of gems. Top three:

• I drafted the reply I wanted to send and saved it to my Nobody Knows The Trouble I Seen folder.

This is the greatest folder name of all time. And now I have one too.

• Everything we’ve done to and for English is for its own good, we tell it (angrily, as it slouches in its chair and writes “irregardless” all over itself in ballpoint pen).

I'm not sure what, exactly, I love about this so much. Except that it seems possible that I, at some point now forgotten, might have written "irregardless" all over myself in ballpoint pen.

• I bet Latin doesn’t sneak German in through its bedroom window, does it?

LATIN. What a goody-two-shoes.

Also the actual content of the response is good too.





*I drove to work the other day behind a car whose license plate was 'T. Swift'. When I told my brother this, and added "Why didn't I think of that?", he responded with:

"Forget "I", Why didn't WE think of that?" he pronounced.

Nice work, Brother Will.

Heys na na

So, I've been sort of obsessed with this song for a few days:



(words)

While I was looking for the video (which I only found after I became obsessed with the song, but, as it turns out, with which I am also kind of obsessed) I found this other video, for a totally different song with the same name:


(I can't find the lyrics anywhere. I assume there's a fair amount of "hey na na" involved.)

And now I am kind of obsessed with this one too.

Why is a raven like a writing-desk?

Here I am in Maryland. I finished my summer of driving all around forcing people to let me sleep in their guest rooms, and made it back to the east coast where I have a new apartment and a new job and all sorts of new ideas. Many of which involve where to get some more bookcases, and where I might have put the pegs that hold up the shelves in the bookcases I have.

Living in a State is okay so far. I mean, I get nervous still sometimes, about all the responsibilities that come with having a real vote and a Representative and everything, but I think I'm handling it all right. I'm trying to do lots of deep breathing and mental walk-throughs so I'm ready for the actual election. At the same time, I kind of miss the old Constitution City political scene. What are all the Vincents up to these days, anyway?

Meanwhile, do you need any artwork for that huge blank wall that's been bugging you? Have I got a deal for you!

Bug Prism

Here's what I've been doing lately:

Now I'm going on a mini-road-trip. Hasta!

Summer not in the city

My dad's land at Georgetown doesn't have anything except a driveway built on it yet, but it has some pretty nice scenery.

Here I am, blocking it:


Back yard:


View from across the street:


Wish you were here!

Competition

If I were going to rank us according to who drove the farthest* in the oldest truck** this week,*** I would probably rank me first and you last.

*2,286 miles
**1987 Toyota pickup
***Sunday-Friday

Traveling cat

Small has been cycling through the stages of Road Trip.

1. Panic

"AAUUUGH WHAT IS THAT NOISE WHERE AM I WHAT IS THAT SMELL I HATE THIS WHY AM I LOCKED IN THIS !#$^$@%$ BOX LET ME OUT AAAAUUGH!"

2. Despair

"Heeeeelp me pleeeeeease let me oooooout I don't liiiiiiike thiiiiiiiiiis"

3. Denial

"I am closing my eyes and counting to 50 and when I wake up I will be somewhere normal where it is quiet and not vibrating"

4. Resignation

"Well, I guess we live in this stupid truck now. God damn it."

5. Nap

"zzzzz"

Stage 1 really only happened for a few minutes each on the first two days. Today was nearly all 4 and 5. Tomorrow's the last day! Things are looking up, buddy.

Weather report

Oh hey internet. Where you been, you slacker? I haven't seen you in ages!

I'm in Cleveland. I'm en route from DC to MT: today was Day One of a projected Six Day Road Trip. DC was hot when I left. Maryland was lovely. Pennsylvania was rough going (full of rain and irritating other drivers) but as soon as I crossed over into Ohio everything was lovely again.

My truck is holding up quite nicely, thank you for asking, and I'll politely pretend I didn't notice the incredulity leavened by disapproval at my choice of conveyance. That truck is a tough old lady!

Tougher than the cat, at any rate. The cat (also doing fine, overall) spent the first hour yowling and the rest of the hours sulking with her face in a blanket with sporadic additional yowls and glares. Whatever, I turned my hearing aids off and she seems to have forgiven me now so she can yowl and glare all she wants tomorrow too. Maybe by Tuesday she'll have gotten used to the routine.

Okay, see you in another 3 months! Just kidding. Maybe.

Who's that swimming up the burning Potomac?

Is it... could it be?.. yes! It is Ghost Abe Lincoln, clutching a tattered copy of the score to the Star Spangled Banner in one hand and a shiny new copy of my dissertation in the other!

My dissertation is over, guys. The last piece of paperwork has been walked across campus to the last office and the last dot of the last i has been dotted. OVER. The world may end, therefore, at any moment. Just in time for the Mayans to win.

I'm in DC til May, teaching 200 classes and plotting my next move. Stay tuned.

Winter break

Now I'm in Missoula again until mid-January. Missoula is full of old friends and brothers and drinks and pets. It is quite nice. Except for how sore my legs are from when I went skiing yesterday. POOR POOR ME.

This metaphor only goes so far.

I just spent an hour doing an Exciting Bureaucratic Adventure Game that involved finding hidden offices and decoding mysterious administrative titles and asking the correct questions in the correct sequence in order to obtain the correct piece of paper, and then bringing that paper to a different office and trading it for a valuable prize or a password or a piece of candy. There was lots of walking around in endless hallways where each doorway leads to another identical hallway and you can find the target by trial and error if you're lucky, but it's really better if you have some song lyrics from a dream sequence to guide you, because if you take too long with the wandering and the dead ends then Ghost Pirate LeChuck will probably appear and stick a pin in a voodoo doll he made of you and send you to a different random section of identical hallway and you'll have to start all over.

Prisencolinensinainciusol

remember this?


Now with lyrics! (via my dad)

(koro)
in de col men seivuan
prisencolinensinainciusol ol rait
uis de seim cius men
op de seim ol uat men
in de colobos dai
trr...
ciak is e maind beghin de col
bebi stei ye push yo oh
uis de seim cius men
in de colobos dai
not is de seim laikiu
de promisdin iu nau
in trabol lovgiai ciu gen
in do camo not cius no bai
for lov so op op giast
cam lau ue cam lov ai
oping tu stei laik cius
go mo men
iu bicos tue men cold
dobrei gorls
oh sandei...

(koro)
ai ai smai sesler
eni els so co uil piso ai
in de col men seivuan

(koro)
prisencolinensinainciusol ol rait
uei ai sint no ai
giv de sint laik de cius
nobodi oh gud taim lev feis go
uis de seim et seim cius
go no ben let de cius
end kai for not de gai giast stei
ai ai smai senflecs
eni go for doing peso ai
in de col mein seivuan
prisencolinensinainciusol ol rait
lu nei si not sicidor
ah es la bebi la dai big iour

(koro)
ai ai smai senflecs
eni go for doin peso ai
in de col mein saivuan
prisencolinensinainciusol ol rait
lu nei si not sicodor
ah es la bebi la dai big iour

Phonolohotonthologos

Why hello there. You look like you could use some esoteric reference jokes and terrible, terrible puns. Let me help you out with that!



My ridiculous cartoon is finally ready. The main ideas come from this and this and this, although you shouldn't worry if you don't think any of it makes much sense. Some additional references are available at the end of the post, for those who don't have something better to do.

Here you go (click any picture to go to flickr, where bigger versions are available):

















(descriptions coming soonish: sooner if you email me to tell me you want them)


(Selected) Reference Jokes:
Auricle
Buccinator
Chrononhotonthologos
CON and EVAL
Deus ex machina
Electromyographia
Inferior Longitudinal
Levator Palatine
Liquids
Muscular Hydrostat
Orbicularis Oris
Postpositional Anaphornia
ʃibboleth
theta rolls

Gonna be a Dental Floss Tycoon

With my tweezers gleamin' in the moon-lighty night.


lyrics

Soon = Monday. See you later, Constitution City!