Safety First!

My stepdad and my brothers were teaching Hunter's Safety all week. Today I helped out by being the Cranky Landowner during the field course. I was very good at this job because I excel at crankiness.

All the little 12 year olds with their big guns on their backs would come up to me and say "um, excuse me, we would like to hunt on your land" and I would say "No. Go away."

Then I would make up whatever other cranky things I could think of. Which was a lot. "Don't you think you're a little young to be out here without your mother?" "That's disgusting! Eating meat is unhealthy and wrong!" "You're going to shoot who? Bambi? That's terrible! What's wrong with you children nowadays?"

Eventually I would let them convince me to say yes, (often after making them do fake chores like pretending to water my garden) and they would go off to the next station.

In between groups I drank coffee and read the Atlantic Monthly. What a great magazine. This newest issue has an article about Presidential Doodles. (Doodling as in drawing on your papers during a meeting. Don't be gross.) It turns out that Eisenhower was a pretty good draw-er. And weirdly, so was Ronald Reagan.

They didn't show any of G. W.'s drawings. I cringe to think what they might look like.

G. W. Bush. There is a guy who could use a hunter's safety class. Never point your weapon at a person!