prizes

I like it when people do a good job and get a reward. Especially if it's me getting the reward. Especially if the reward is an ice cream cone. Or something sparkly.

That is TOTALLY beside the point though. Here's what I'm talking about: rewards that don't match their ... whatever is the word that means "why someone got the reward".

One example is one time in college when I was driving way too fast in Montana. It was back when the speed limit in Montana was "reasonable and prudent" so it really wasn't my fault. It seemed reasonable to me! Anyway I got a speeding ticket, so I paid the nice highway patrol man my $20 and was about to be on my merry, prudent way when Mr. Highway Patrol noticed that I was oh-so-prudently wearing my safety belt. So as a reward for this he gave me a coupon for a free Happy Meal or Big Mac (my choice) at my nearest participating McDonald's. Of course! What all safe seatbelt wearers have earned!

Another example is something I just read at the BBC website about a very great man in New York who leapt into the tracks of the subway to rescue a kid who had a seizure and fell in there. They dramatically rolled under an oncoming train and escaped to tell their story. I'm always impressed by people who leap under oncoming trains to save other people, and I firmly believe that they deserve all the rewards they can get. This guy, though, got an especially entertaining combination of rewards: New York's highest award for civic achievement, $10,000 from Donald Trump, a trip to Disney World and a year's free subway travel. I like the money. Disney World, though, strikes me as pretty random. I like it all the more for that. And the subway travel is a nice touch, plus if anybody else falls in there we're all set.

All of this is making me think about what kinds of prizes I will be handing out for the winners tomorrow night. I foresee multiple minor skirmishes between Good and Evil, and knowing me, there is bound to be some kind of large scoreboard with tally marks for the points everybody earns. If no skirmishes ensue I will probably have to provoke them, if only so I can award points and prizes.

One of the prizes will probably be something very sparkly. I hope I win it.