bounce, bounce, woof

The dog would really like to play with a cat or kitten, but hasn't had any takers so far.

hey double dactyl-y

my sister's here, with her dog, so I made a poem about them:

Diggerel doggerel
Sad Scruffleupagus
worries and whines as he
waits by the door

ever since Jocelyn
put on her jacket and
unsympathetically
went to the store.

When Jocelyn's here, he just stares directly at her. Or sleeps. WHO'S A GOOD DOG? WHO'S A GOOD DOG?

The government stole my weather

I'm in Montana, where it has been freezing raining for DAYS and the skies are cloudy and gray and the weather guy on the teevee is very full of discouraging words. NOT LIKE THE SONG SAYS AT ALL.

Meanwhile, everyone in stupid DC gets snowball fights and hot cocoa and camaraderie. And they don't even have any mountains to ski on! I hope the Constitution Gods get their act together real quick like and put the snow back where it belongs, or about 50% of my packing will have been a total waste.

But who would bring a SADDLE on an airplane? Come on, Delta. Don't be silly.

I'm getting ready to leave for Missoula, and since Our Dear Overlords keep changing up the rules for air travel, I went online to see what I could see.

It turns out that if you want to check any "Fragile/bulky items" on a Delta flight, you have to tell an official ahead of time.

Well, this seems reasonable! (I may or may not have said to myself,) But I wonder what type of item would fit into this somewhat vague category? Never fear; Delta has a handy list of examples of fragile and/or bulky items:

- saddle
- antlers
- Hawaiian pineapples
- military duffle bags

as well as a more comprehensive list including

- Ornamental Bric-a-Brac

and

- Meters

both of which are a little confusing to me: the first seems extremely unhelpful as the name of an "item", and the second, I have no idea what the referent might be. Parking meters? Yardsticks?


Anyway, I'm hoping if I stick the Hawaiian pineapples on the antler points, and then stick the whole thing into the military duffle bag, I can get away with a single charge.

three's the charm, right?

Elizabeth got some kittens:

which is sparking all kinds of ill-advised wishes and plans in me. We already have two cats, and they hate each other. They really hate each other. They've lived together for 4 years, with no signs that the hatred is abating.

So my theory is, we should get a helpless baby kitten to melt their somewhat-disordered adult cat thinking, and then we will all be a cuddly happy family. Except first I'll probably borrow one of Elizabeth's kittens to make sure that Small can tell the difference between a baby kitten and a baby rabbit, because she will totally kill a baby rabbit and leave it on the floor of my room for a present. And that would ruin the cuddly happy family vibe that I'm going for, I'm pretty sure.

Anyway I've been spending all my time sitting around at Elizabeth's constructing cat toys out of paper and ignoring my responsibilities. Next stop: the Frozen North. Hasta.

happy thanksgiving!

"I have a Bible, a Koran, and a Book of Mormon in my bag"

...Tom said sacrilegiously.

Oh, snap! You thought I forgot about this kind of hilarious joke, didn't you? That was your first mistake, thinking I would ever be capable of forgetting about something so ridiculous.

I've been working on one about poetry, and not being able to write it, and being despondent, but it hasn't really come together for me yet.

Everything else is the same as it ever was. Except that my mom is coming to visit soon and there is only a month left of school which is alarming.

I guess now I'll go figure out all the things I have to do this weekend.

She said listlessly.

This ain't no party

Daddy-O is leaving for Afghanistan today. His training has included Growing a Beard, Learning How to Get Along With the Military, and Practicing Getting In and Out of Helicopters.

Sadly, he won't be in an area where the Italians are the lead military. Sadly because, apparently they have lots of wine on their bases. Happily, he won't be in an area that has lots of violent danger. Happily because he's my daddy.

Afghanistan is farther away than I thought it was. Mainly because I've been basing "far away" on how my mom's in China and Lindsay's in Sydney, as one extreme, and whether or not I have to leave a 3 block radius, as the other. Turns out, Aghanistan is still pretty far!

Happy Halloween.

via Catherine

almost

I've been barely recovering from one germy disease just in time to be stricken by another one, for a couple of months now. Other than that I have nothing of interest to report so you should probably go spend a few hours looking at this guy's far more entertaining and far more frequently updated website.

d

Argent two bars Gules in chief three mullets in fess of the second

Last summer Ben asked me why all the DC city type things (vehicles, buildings, license plates) had three red stars and two red strips on them. Like so:



I didn't know, and my powers of internet searching were weak.

Then this fall, instead of writing my dissertation, I found out! It is the Flag of the District of Columbia, and it is based on George Washington's family coat of arms.



And the name of the coat of arms is Argent Two Bars Gules in Chief Three Mullets in Fess of the Second.

So, I think we all learned something today. You're welcome.

Small v Superball

d

Unclear what happened to the ball, at the end, there. Cat seems satisfied with the outcome, whatever it was.

The Best Health Care in the World: multiple choice quiz

1. Today I went to the doctor for symptoms including intermittent fever. Without being reminded, the highly-trained medical staff remembered to do which 2 of the following 3 things?

a. take my blood pressure
b. weigh me
c. take my temperature

2. I have been exhibiting flu-like symptoms. There is a flu pandemic, and it is Normal Non-pandemic Flu Season. I do not have white spots on my throat, and I do have a cough. Which of the following tests was I given? (pick one)

a. Strep
b. seasonal flu
c. H1N1

3. After it had been determined that I do not have strep throat, which astute follow-up question was I asked?

a. Can you hear?
b. Can you read lips?
c. Have you seen a doctor about hearing loss?
d. all of the above

There is no answer sheet. The answer is screaming.

A Celebration of Special-Ness

As I was leaving campus last week after teaching at College-That-Is-Past-Damascus, I was stuck on Main Street for half an hour because there was a parade.

I don't know what the parade was for. It wasn't a holiday. I was pretty close to it all, so I could see what the parade consisted of, and what it consisted of wasn't informative. What it consisted of was marching bands, walking people with glowy necklaces, pickups with people in the beds, and various emergency vehicles with their fancy lights all flashing.

I sat there smiling at them all and feeling alternately gleeful and guilt-ridden. Because all I could think about was True Stories and how much I love David Byrne.

d

I have something to say about this. But I've forgotten what it is. I have it written down at home though.

Big Brother is taking good care of me

Cab drivers in DC used to just drive around until they got somewhere and then turn to you, palm up, for money. An amount of money that as far as anyone could tell they had invented, or dreamt, or received from the gods. And the place wasn't always the place you had in mind, either.

Now, cab drivers in DC have meters and GPS. And my world is much better.

It is particularly difficult to correct-en-route a cab driver when you are deaf. Even if your voice is pretty understandable and the cab driver can hear you, he* probably won't internalize the fact that you can't hear him*. So when you try to say "turn here" or "take a right on Rhode Island" he* will probably respond to you with something you can't hear, and then later chastise you for it.

If you don't talk, and you just hand him* a piece of paper with the address/directions written on it, then you have no way of knowing what kind of mental processes are occurring as you drive. Particularly if you are a little bit or a lot drunk, this is true. Which is problematic because everyone [read: me] takes cabs a lot more often when they are a little bit or a lot drunk.

But, now, with the new fancy Fare Meter GPS rule, it is much better! You can sit in the back seat, drunkenly musing on whatever you would care to muse on, and keep an eye on the little screens in the front. One little screen will tell you where you are, and what the cab driver thinks he* is doing. There is a big bright line telling you where he* thinks he* is going! It is easy to object and correct when necessary.

Tonight, for example, I gave the nice cab driver man* a piece of paper with my address and several other ways to consider my address written on it. First, the actual mailing address. Second, the cross streets with letter and number streets. Third, the actual closest intersection to my house. In the past, this same information has yielded widely varying results, including cab drivers who thought I meant I (Eye) Street when I wrote 1st (First), and also multiple confusions between quadrants even though I was very careful to specify.

But tonight, Cab Driver Man* just typed what I wrote into his little GPS meter dealy, and I could tell right away that we were on the right track. The GPS even knew the appropriate shortcuts to take. Cab Driver Man* did not get stressed out, and I got home with zero problems and for an acceptable number of dollars.

Moral: I love GPS.

*I've not yet had a female cab driver in DC. I have no idea if this is a statistically useful sample.